Scandal in the Mafia!

Before I go into all the gory details, let me just clarify something. The Mafia is my family...it's just that big!
So at a Mother's Day Dinner with my grandparents, I sit next to my Nan, the wine if flowing and everyone, except for my mum's foul-face Monster-In-Law, was fairly merry.
Then the stories started.
My Grandad  was dating a woman called Jaquie when he was 20, and proposed to her. While she was away on holiday, before their wedding, I guess it was a type of Hen Weekend (although this was 40 years ago) he went to a bar with some friends, as there were Go-Go Dancers (today's equivalent of pole dancers.) One of the dancers at the end of the show went to talk to my Grandad and he bought her a fair few drinks, and they both got a little bit intimate, and ended up back at my Grandad's house. Needless to say sexual acts ensued. And the mystery Go-Go Dancer left in the morning without leaving her number (they didn't have phones.)
The next week, my Grandad returned to the bar, to find the mystery Dancer awaiting him. He thought his luck was in, he dumped his fiance, in what I'm sure was a considerate fashion (not) and him and the Dancer (my Nan) made plans to be wed. Unfortunately for them, though, my Nan was pregnant (shock horror!) and due to the morality of the times, the wedding was pushed forward by 4 months(!!!) so my Nan wouldn't walk down the isle with a baby, telling friends and family it was because they could move into their house sooner than expected(who seriously believed them?!). She did have a bump though. And that bump was my Mum, who's GODMOTHER is the scorned woman my Grandad dumped oh so lovingly for another woman. Who was pregnant. With his baby. Scandalous!
What still astounds me though, is the fact that my Nan (the Go-Go Dancer) can tell me that I'm not allowed a tattoo. Sometimes I feel like turning round ans replying; 'Am I allowed to pole dance though?!' and see how she likes them apples!!